Far back in the mists of history, when humanity was coalescing into settlements, the citizens found themselves faced with a couple problems. First, their nascent cities were overrun by rats that spread disease and threatened the food supply. Second, they were pestered by roving bands of wild cats begging for food.

The humans wanted to be rid of both problems. Until they realized that the cats were uncommonly proficient at killing rats.

So the humans made a proposal. "Listen, cats," they said, "We'll provide you with whatever you need – food, shelter, safety, comfort – to assist you in building your innovative enterprise of killing rats. But we expect a return on that investment."

The cats agreed. Eventually, it worked out well for both parties.

And thus was venture capitalism born.